12-09-02 - 8:14 a.m.
a lost weekend spent with my old, bad habits, thinking of ways to push him away and silently punish him for his wondrous and often callous ability to love us both. my companion, the evil red wine, was helpful. make him miss you! force him to suffer! no contact! no phone, at least until thursday, when physical greed will overcome emotional need!
then, this morning, my codger walks in as i'm doing audit for the hotel, looking as if the dog ate his homework.
i miss you, he says. i can't seem to get back on the other track.
note to self: cudos on your ability to outwardly control your inner glee.