12-07-02 - 9:03 a.m.
patrick resumes his role as husband today, slipping back into his 50 year marriage with an outward ease that hurts me. last night over dinner, candlelight softening the sharp edges of my resentment, i tried to express it in reasonable, unemotional terms, but the damn wine always betrays me. he listened with the patience of a best friend.
it's not easy, he told me, but my age has its advantages. once upon a time, when i was young, i would've gone crazy and trashed both lives and lost you. be glad i can handle it.
my goal for today is to find logic in this beautiful bullshit.