06-23-02 - 8:08 a.m.
sunday again, and looking back over weeks of entries, i see an emerging pattern of mean reds; a battle of wills between heart and logic that disrupts my life until wednesday night when i routinely change the sheets for patrick's arrival on thursday morning. enjoy the pain? screw that. study it? fact; i am too independent to want this man in my life 24/7. his constant need to pontificate would put me in a straight jacket. the sex alone would put him in the hospital. fact; i am too intelligent to believe a chocolate donut delivered to g's bedside each weekend could reduce me to a jealous, spiteful schoolgirl. i don't like donuts, and besides that, every thursday he gallantly leaves the warmth of my bed to reheat my latte. fact; he never allows me to doubt the depth of his love for me. fact; he is my best friend. fact; we have vowed to live this out together. fact; i am rushing headlong toward menopause and all this angst could be hormonal. like pms isn't enough.