04-19-05 - 8:35 p.m.
spent my lunch hour choosing a payday advance establishment; no easy task in a state where car title loan billboard signs outnumber the casinos. my car was running on fumes, tomorrow is the rumble doll's dad's 21st birthday, and by god, i needed alcohol. so there i was, in the first one that didn't require a utility bill and blood type, furnishing paystubs and furiously scribbling out a post-dated check, and what do they give me? a fucking check!
the problem here, i told the woman with american flag decals on her polished claws, is rather ironic. i can't cash this check at my bank when i don't have the funds to cover it in the first place.
oh, she chirped, just go to stockman's. they'll cash it at the cage!
so running on fumes, the clock ticking, i race to stockman's, the casino where the locals play. sure enough, they cashed it with a cheery GOOD LUCK! as i'm stuffing the money in my purse, heading for the door, i hear my name. it's carey, the seymour cassel lookalike. it's his day off, and he's gambling. won $50! then, in the course of one of our ridiculously childish, kick-your-shins-pull-my-pigtails conversations, he pulled me close and kissed me.
cut to one of those cosmic, cinematic moments where time slows but your mind goes into overdrive;
stockman's casino! the locals place! half of walmart eats here! he's got a girlfriend! what's her name? oh yeah, wendy, it's tattooed on his arm. wow, he kisses great! what happened to my knees? wait- i have priors for this sort of behavior! i spent years with a married man! what was her name again? gerry? no, that was the codger's wife, dumbshit! oh yeah, wendy...she works in a casino- fuck, this one? wow, i like the way he kisses! where did my knees go, anyway? stop this, i need to get back to work, should i take him out to the parking lot?
i looked at him, stunned. how long have you been thinking about that? i asked.
a long time, he said.
me too, i said, and ran for my car.