03-12-05 - 11:34 a.m.
i went to a 'passion party' last night. it's like tupperware, only with sex toys. i must be a true curmudgeon, because i really hate gatherings where i feel obligated to spend money. combine a matronly living room crammed with sober female walmart employees who giggle over various types of flavored lube with spinach dip and potstickers, add a prize for the best playdough penis, throw in some overpriced glow-in-the-dark cockrings, and you've got a good grasp on hell. since mom raised me well, i made a discreet purchase (in a back bedroom, to protect my privacy!) of a vibrator. mid-ranged in price, it's purple, with a silly gyrating face on the head; another amusing horror for my mortified children to find when i die. and in the future, like shopping for plastic storage containers at the dollar store, i intend to buy my libidinous toys the old fashioned way- at the seedy XXX-rated adult 'bookstore'.