09-16-04 - 11:18 a.m.
i made many vows when i moved here, one of which was to curb my tendency as over-achiever. i decided that no job, no matter how much the pay or pride, was worth the soul sucking burn-out of that damn hotel on the central coast of california. i would become a follower, not a leader. a flunkie. a grunt. this is easy at walmart; i show up at the appropriate time, punch a timeclock and perform a robotic task. i am told when to take a break and when to eat lunch. i love the lack of responsibility, the mindless ease of earning a paycheck. i am sunny of disposition, agreeable, and flexible. courtesy desk? sure; i'll face defensive customers with unhappy purchases. jewelry? oh yeah; i can pull a cheap cubic zirconia ring from a display case and sell it like the real thing. snack bar? yes, i can toast a bagel; just don't make me wear a hair net! lube and tire express? i know nothing about cars, but why not? train the mentally challenged cart pusher on a cash register? right on! come in early? okay. closing shift? no problem. change my days off? what the hell; i have no one to answer to and one day is like the next. because i am mature enough to keep my personal problems to myself and youthful enough to laugh at dirty jokes, everyone loves me. the point of all this? despite my determination to remain a flunkie, i made cashier of the month, a silly walmart honor; maroon vest instead of garish blue. with it came a promotion to customer service manager, the equivalent of a cashier with keys and the ability to override mistakes. i thought about it overnight, long enough for my stomach to knot up with dread. much to management's dismay and puzzlement, i turned the position down and happily returned to my register. scan scan, bag bag, count back change. it's a wonderful thing, the ability to leave behind old, destructive habits. liberating! so liberating, in fact, that i spent tuesday night with my fellow flunkies, bowling and drinking into the wee hours of the morning. i can't bowl worth a shit, but oh the simple gratification of an occasional strike.