02-25-03 - 9:29 a.m.
i have a sudden, ugly urge to hurt patrick today, to piss him off and push him away, to run from the safety of his magical, mysterious, unconditional love. i want to fuck up my happiness, spoil it, and i have no idea why.
if i were my own shrink, i'd point out ways to stop this harmful behavior pattern to myself, and i'd do it for free.