10-20-02 - 8:40 a.m.
he used his key early this morning and we reconnected for hours in my tangled bed, until i was dangerously late for work. he won money on the cruise and because he knows i am struggling financially, wanted to share it with me. like always, his need to care for me and my desire for independence became an issue. while an offer of money from a married man enforces my role as mistress, my stubborn refusal to accept it lies more in a defiant need for autonomy. cool word, autonomy.