08-04-02 - 7:11 a.m.
i spent most of last night weighing the worth of a friendship. it was no easy task; a notorious loner, i am choosy about the people i spent my free time with, but i have to question my own self-esteem when i befriend someone so filled with simmering hostility and self-loathing that he hurts others in order to feel good about himself. it's a debilatating pattern that has damaged our relationship in the past, and is threatening to do so again, especially when his animosity is directed at my children.
on another note, after some gentle encouragement on my part, joseph, thumb-sucking mary and baby cougar have gone to seek shelter, literally, in a shelter. my home was a three-ring circus of dirty bottles, smelly diapers and junk food wrappers. berries had become a surrogate mother and i was seriously considering a college fund for this hapless, helpless baby. they left they way they arrived, with a giant oil stain in my driveway and determined to suck the life out of anyone who offers them a home or hand.