07-25-05 - 12:22 p.m.
you know, it occured to me just now that i've got all kinds of drama and trauma going on in my life and i never document it here. everything is broken and i can't fix it and i've got this kid who is sticking her head in the oven and taking pills when i'm not home and 14 animals and no money and a difficult grandkid and no money and no one i can count on and i look at my diary entries and it's all this superficial vacant shit and i don't really write about what's going on and how lonely and lost i am and this place, this diaryland is pointless, because i really don't want anyone to know who or what i really am. i am false, a charade, and i am so very tired of the act; the strong, self sufficient woman that relies on herself and nobody else. if anybody gave a shit, they'd realize that i'm human and can't handle it all on my own. there's the rub, huh? if anybody gave a shit.