01-01-05 - 8:25 p.m.
spent midnight in bed with the rumble doll, watching 'open water', so berries could have a night out with a new friend; the geeky guy who works electronics at the store. his name is tim. tim has coke bottle lenses on his glasses, stringy hair, and a goofy smile. back when we'd bowl, my bulging beautiful berries would waddle down the alley and hurl a ball at the pins with both hands. and goofy tim, his eyes magnified behind his thick lenses, would watch in silent, hopeless adoration, just the way spence should have but never did, and still doesn't. i had time to reflect last night, even with a squirming, cranky baby; it was, afterall, my first new years eve away from hotel hell in five years. i was thankful for that, and even more thankful that my brother survived the big wave in thailand. i'm thankful for an amazing new baby, a crazy character of a horse, my own acre of sand, and a life less stressful. i don't believe in resolutions but i made one anyway, brilliant in its silliness. this year, i intend to watch the kentucky derby from a casino sports book bar with a mint julep in one hand and a $2 ticket to show on a 20-1 shot in the other.
this year's for you, dad.