10-09-03 - 9:47 a.m.
four days after my last entry, and just hours after a bonfire on the beach with berries and rose and his family, my ex-husband died. it was swift, unexpected, and because he was alone and undiscovered for several hours afterward, sadly solitary. if it's true that heartbreak is life teaching us, then my daughter has learned some harrowing lessons in the past several weeks, the least of which is telling the people who matter most that we love them. in the months before his death, she managed to reconnect with her father; she is numb with disbelief at his passing and terrified that i'll be next. my own detachment for this man crumbled on the doorstep of the shabby motorhome he shared with the woman named rose. we hugged, and i thanked her for loving him.
it wasn't easy, she said with a ragged laugh, but i guess you know that.