07-17-03 - 10:01 a.m.
i woke crying from a dream that began with patrick making a ghostly appearance at my chaotic wedding to a faceless groom and ending with his wife chastising me for ending the affair. it doesn't take an einstein to figure out that i still love this man, i will always love this man, and yes, he deserves a place in my heart. but i'm also beginning to love this pragmatic, poetic cowboy too, and believe you me, this jumbled cocktail of affection has me tiptoeing a scary ledge of emotion.