08-24-02 - 10:07 p.m.
i am caught in an uninspired web of work and life maintenance, waiting to be released by the power of bruce on tuesday and the joy of solitary confinement with patrick; g is leaving wednesday for a week in gallup with mother.
it's like waiting for christmas, he told me this morning, reading me like a true soulmate.
denied the rituals of ordinary couples by our immorality, we always make plans; movies, dinners in remote, dark restaurants, long drives that lead to a broken antique clock waiting for the magic of his weathered hands. starved for connection, our plans routinely go awry; we always end up in a crazy heated tangle that leads to my bed. i don't mind, because unlike ordinary couples, we are denied the right to take each other for granted. this, i've recently realized, is the twisted gift that comes with loving a married man.