05-07-02 - 6:06 p.m.
after watching two terrific cry-n-die movies in one week; life as a house and my first mister, i suddenly feel terribly... mortal. this alarmed patrick, who, as a true codger, often feels his days are numbered.
i don't want anything left unsaid, i told him. if something happens to me, i want you to know exactly how much you mean to me.
in order to enforce this idea, i gave him an assignment.
by the end of the day, i said, i want to exchange thoughts we've had, but never expressed to each other.
patrick loves a challenge. at noon, when he called, i was still pondering what profoundity might sweep him off his fucking size nine feet.
okay, he said, i pictured myself standing over your coffin...
(this isn't exactly what i meant, but what the hell.)
how do i look? i asked.
gorgeous.
and you lean down...?
i lean down, weeping...
and you whisper...?
and i whisper, "tomato soup is the only thing that settles my stomach when it's upset."