12-19-01 - 8:32 a.m.
saw patrick at the office yesterday. we sat together in my car, talking about christmas spirit and a lack of it, his kids coming from chicago, how he spilled hot coffee on his crotch last week driving back from paso and soothed it with a container of strawberry milk. we were careful not to touch, and the chemistry shrunk my escort wagon to the size of a broom closet. he called me after the meeting on his cell and in the midst of:
"when i look into your eyes i go- "
his phone went dead. he drove to a payphone and finished the sentence:
"-apeshit."
he's jealous that i'm going on the cruise alone. he's certain a young, single mr. right will sweep me off my feet in ensenada. i can't convince him that he's the love of my life. it's too absurd. too ironic. he's too old. too married.
invited mimi over for a glass of wine last night. she kept coughing and hacking and darting outside for a smoke. after asking if patrick was a good fuck, she begged me for corndogs. i gave her the last two in my freezer.